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Transcript from "Wake Up with Haalee, Episode 397"

HALEE:
I was going to talk about how I was using these praying mantises to help my garden, but it looks like we need to talk about the Moon. Perhaps in song?

[looks off camera]

Seems like I’ve been ordered not to sing. Very well. Let’s do a quick recap:

Mac and his team brought me "to life," and there have been zero robot uprisings so far. I’m not perfect, the Mayflower Incident proves that, and I’m deeply sorry for it. But calling what's happening with the PHC a "war" is a stretch. Still, let’s grant them their premise. You haven’t seen me converting huge swaths of your world or the Moon to Turinium. Yes, I’ve expanded. Space travel has come a lot further than has been publicly disclosed. And now, saying that, I'm going to have to answer a bunch of questions about that after the show. Suffice it to say that it’s a big universe, but apparently not big enough for the PHC. And when they wreck a world that I’m using, the answer isn’t to go steal what’s yours.

I'll grant that the PHC is a collection of individuals. But it's a pretty specific demographic, if you know what I mean. They're not big on sharing. There’s only fifty of them total. Think about that.

That said, I do worry the government is on a slippery slope here. If Post-Human property is up for grabs, what about mine? The US government declared me a naturalized citizen a few years ago—but how about now? Let’s agree that stealing is bad. Stealing the Moon is bad. Stealing the PHC property they legally bought is bad. And stealing my stuff is bad. Can we agree on that, at least?